Friday, August 20, 2010

Circ de Wedding

I think the entire wedding industry is somewhat embarrassing, as it shows how easily we are manipulated by myths and media. At any rate, I can't wait for my "one big day!" That's so anticlimactic. I'll spend a fortune on gaudy stuff I never would have purchased under 'normal circumstances' so that the industry gods and everyone I know can see the moment I'm the skinniest I'll ever be, wearing the biggest dress I'll ever wear? Doesn't make sense. I bought a reasonably over-priced wedding dress; now I can keep saving for my funeral and death attire, which will be much more permanent and functional...and fun! Open bar, hello.

In all seriousness, I am looking forward to marrying Eugenio. I would do it today in a much easier, intimate trip to the court house if I could. That said, again, I am looking forward to marrying Eugenio circus and all. I can appreciate a crazy party. People act as if wedding planning is a difficult, laborious ordeal. I suppose if you think you're Martha Stewart and your friends and family are Royalty, it must be so. My wedding planning won't be as cumbersome. My plan is to avoid magazines and TV shows that tell me I must have this and that and that and that and that and that....oh and this.

At any rate, I shouldn't get ahead of myself. We aren't sure if we are getting married by the church. We are at the mercy of a priest we haven't met. We want our wedding in San Antonio on February 12 (consider this your save-the-date) in a particular beautiful Catholic church (will remain TBA for now). Last week we flew to San Antonio to meet with said priest at our scheduled meeting time. A few hours before our flight left Orlando, Eugenio called the church to confirm our meeting time. And of course this was the response:

"I'm so glad you called! We've been trying to get in touch with you but don't have your number. The priest unexpectedly needs to go out of town. Is there anyway we can reschedule for another time?" said the admin.

Um, do you reimburse for travel? Thus, we thankfully met with a deacon instead. He was very personable and kind, but unable to answer the $500 (plane ticket) "Can we get married here?" question. Since we will complete our wedding counseling/hazing/preparations at our church in Orlando, the San Antonio priest must approve and, most importantly, decide whether we deserve his blessing. Although I'm not Catholic and Eugenio very much is, I am optimistic about the priest's decision. For the sake of helping people understand the millions of thoughts in my head about the particular nature of the universe via a label, I say I am either agnostic or, more simply, believe in kindness (when speaking informally) or Unitarian Universalist (when speaking to people who decide if I can get married in their church). Eugenio advised that I "be vague" when answering the priest's question. But really, I attend a Unitarian church in Orlando that I adore, as well as a Catholic mass every Sunday with Eugenio, and I believe and practice genuine kindness because it helps mask the fact that we're all assholes.

If the priest decides I'm an unworthy heathen, we have a plan B: get married in the court, and then use the money for an extra large coffin to fit me and my wedding dress when I die. OK, I made up the second part. Apparently we can get married in the church after a year of being married by the state -- that's plan B. I'll keep you posted. You'll either get a wedding invite or see me resting in my wedding dress maaaany years from now.

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