What were they thinking?!

I'm no style guru or fashionista, and I may wear my underwear up to my collarbone, but I want to pants and then give a wedgie to every guy I see sagging his jeans below his ass. I'm usually not one to judge (much), but doubleyew-tee-eff, guys.

Eugenio and I actually saw jeans fall off a grown man a few weeks ago. Halfway dressed, he was bent over, digging in his car for something -- a belt? -- when the jeans dropped, in the parking lot. It took him a few moments to feel the breeze and realize something was amiss. Then he swooped up his pants, -- all the way this time -- making eye contact with the giggling school girl, me, mouthed "sorry" and then but a hand over his mouth as if to say "oopsie." His reaction was innocently cute and didn't match his Mr. Saggy Pants image. I'm glad he didn't take offense to my uncontrollable laughter and failure to avert my eyes.

As I age and become more mature (pronounced ma-toor here), I've learned to attempt understanding before or, when I slip, while and after passing judgement. I so badly want to tap a saggy pants lad on the shoulder to ask, "Why do you wear your pants like that? Just asking." Maybe he's in a hurry. Maybe wearing his pants below his crotch makes going to the restroom easier. Maybe he, falsely, assumes it looks good. Maybe he knows one day he might gain 100 lbs, so he's saving time and money by buying bigger pants now. Maybe he just likes showing off his almost clean whitey tighties....All these are crap reasons. I just don't get it! I had a similar thought process when considering why people choose to wear wedgies called thongs.

Speaking of wedgies, I am reminded of my youngest sister, Molly, when she was about three or four years old. Thinking about her back then makes me laugh out loud. She was a cutey patootey always getting things -- like remote control cars and gum-- stuck in her tangly, curly red hair. Hair funnies aside, Molly also made up the word "buttchie." While acquiring the Carr family language, she mistook "wedgie" for "buttchie" assuming that a "buttchie" was when you had an itch on your bum. She would go around scratching, saying "I have a buttchie." Eugenio, knowing this story and appreciating the grammar, now likes to announce when he has an "armchie," "leggchie" or other unmentionable-chies. I think it's useful grammar.