Pictures of something Texans refer to as a "Dosarita" have been popping up all over my Facebook news feed for months, as all of my alcoholic friends and family members back in San Antonio like to document the beginning of their nights -- for future reference, I suppose.
Because I live in Orlando (lame), I can't find a Dosarita (big ass margarita with a Dos Equis bottle inside) anywhere. There aren't many good Mexican restaurants here. Actually, there aren't many good Anythings here. Unless your name is Disney or Universal Studios or Major Tourist Attraction, the city of Orlando doesn't give a shit about you.
Anyhoo, I've taken matters into my own hands. I need this Dosarita in my life. And I don't even like margaritas....or beer. But something told me, the two together are alcohol bliss.
A few months ago, while I was in the liquor store for my weekly perusing, I asked the Pakistani owner if he had any Skinnygirl Margarita. He said, "Yes, yes!" as he enthusiastically walked me over to the Jose Cuervo margarita mix. Yeah, that's not it. Haven't you seen The Real Housewives on Bravo? I replied, and then went into a drawn out explanation of The Real Housewives of New York and Bethenny Getting Married and how I don't really like margaritas, "like at all, but I'm curious and want to support a home girl...without drinking too many calories."
Then two weeks ago, on my weekly liquor store perusing, I screamed, "He got it!" spotting the row of red capped Skinnygirl Margarita bottles. I couldn't buy any, though, because I was sure I was pregnant. I was just torturing myself in the liquor store. But this weekend, knowingly without child, I bought two bottles.
I'm delighted to report that I actually enjoy the Skinnygirl Margarita, although I generally hate tequila. My first and last time drinking tequila was out of a teacup (keepin' it classy) for a friend's pre-party 21st birthday party. The next day I laid in bed, occasionally running to the bathroom to vomit, next to my mother who was also miserably sick....from cancer. My dad took care of us. Isn't that cute?
Even better, I created my own knock-off Dosarita. It's Skinnygirl Margarita with Corona Light mixed in. I call it The Skinny Coronarita. Imma bottle it....post Real Apartment Wives of Orlando fame and after the success of my Poorbitch Cocktail, of course.
PS: Happy 4th of July. John Adams would be rul proud of me.
EDIT, a year later: If you came here to find out how many calories you drank last night and ended up reading that bullshit up there, my sincerest apologies. If you're still anxious to know how many tequila, sugar and beer calories you need to burn at the gym, I'll tell you here.
Look at that sexy tipsy bebita!
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