It's a fun change for now, but 
I'm not thrilled about it. Thankfully, I was sane enough to buy non-permanent dye. I think I'll buy this dye again when Halloween comes around for a Morticia Addams costume.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
wild hare
I woke up this morning at 4:45am and couldn't go back to sleep. So I did some reading, went to the apartment gym, ran on the treadmill, then went to Walmart to buy shampoo and conditioner, since I've been out for a couple days. The opposite wall in the shampoo isle is stacked with hair dye, so I impulsively decided to dye my hair dark brown. I've never dyed my hair in my life. In my head at 7am, it sounded like a fantastic idea. It was pretty cheap too, so I figured it was a worthy purchase.(Note to self: add hair dye to list of things not to buy because-it's-cheap).
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Oh Lasagna!
"If we agree in love, there is no disagreement that can do us any harm, but if we do not, no other agreement can do us any good." -- Hosea Ballou (influential early Universalist minister, quoted in today's sermon)
The past four Sundays, I've attended a Unitarian church in Orlando and it's like I found my place in the world. Today was the orientation for newbies, where we learned about the church and it's history, and I must tell you, I kept asking myself "Why did I wait this long to come?" In college I was told by a professor that I was UU and didn't even know it, which I always kept in the back of my mind, planning to explore what she meant one day. As it goes, I never 'got around' to attending a service. Moving to Orlando with Eugenio allowed me the fresh-start/kick in the ass I needed to get more involved in my nonspiritual journey for company. An agnostic, wary of organized religion, and continually evolving, I always assumed being a member of a congregation, in which creeds and absolutes were spoken, was not an option for me. However, in a UU church, you can simply be yourself. You can be an out of the closet atheist who sings in the church choir with a Buddhist to your left and a Christian to your right, without compromising your integrity or beliefs. It's a good place. If you are looking for a church, or if you have ill-feelings about church, but want a community and a place to nurture your mind and faith, whatever it may be, I'd recommend checking out your nearest UU church.
Some say that religion is too major an issue to disagree on, which can serve as an Achilles heal in a relationship. Initially, I was regrettably prone to believe that. Being engaged to Eugenio, brought up questions about "how" (meaning what brand of religion) to raise our hypothetical children. How can I be OK with raising kids in the Catholic church if I'm not OK with the Catholic church? How can Eugenio be OK with raising his kids as secular, if Catholicism is very important to him? So, I'm lucky to have found the perfect community. I've decided our kids will be Unitarian Universalists. Problem solved!
Just kidding...We'll compromise. I believe that our differences actually make us better together and for our hypothetical unborn children. I like the idea of attending both a Catholic church and a Unitarian Universalist church. I've been doing it myself this past month, and Sunday has become my favorite day. I always find a meaningful message in the Catholic service I attend (even if it is something snarky, like 'the priest isn't too bright') with Eugenio on Sunday evenings, even if the Catholic beliefs and sometimes the Priest's homilies don't resonate with me. Also, I just enjoy being with Eugenio, and I love singing the songs, probably more than I should.
Speaking of singing, when I was little I loved the "lasagna" song in church. You don't remember a song about lasagna? For the longest time I thought when the church choir sang "hosanna" they were saying "oh lasagna." It was my favorite mass song. At any rate, lasagna/hosanna aside, I'm sure our unborn children are gonna love having to go to church twice! Jesus christ.
The past four Sundays, I've attended a Unitarian church in Orlando and it's like I found my place in the world. Today was the orientation for newbies, where we learned about the church and it's history, and I must tell you, I kept asking myself "Why did I wait this long to come?" In college I was told by a professor that I was UU and didn't even know it, which I always kept in the back of my mind, planning to explore what she meant one day. As it goes, I never 'got around' to attending a service. Moving to Orlando with Eugenio allowed me the fresh-start/kick in the ass I needed to get more involved in my nonspiritual journey for company. An agnostic, wary of organized religion, and continually evolving, I always assumed being a member of a congregation, in which creeds and absolutes were spoken, was not an option for me. However, in a UU church, you can simply be yourself. You can be an out of the closet atheist who sings in the church choir with a Buddhist to your left and a Christian to your right, without compromising your integrity or beliefs. It's a good place. If you are looking for a church, or if you have ill-feelings about church, but want a community and a place to nurture your mind and faith, whatever it may be, I'd recommend checking out your nearest UU church.
Some say that religion is too major an issue to disagree on, which can serve as an Achilles heal in a relationship. Initially, I was regrettably prone to believe that. Being engaged to Eugenio, brought up questions about "how" (meaning what brand of religion) to raise our hypothetical children. How can I be OK with raising kids in the Catholic church if I'm not OK with the Catholic church? How can Eugenio be OK with raising his kids as secular, if Catholicism is very important to him? So, I'm lucky to have found the perfect community. I've decided our kids will be Unitarian Universalists. Problem solved!
Just kidding...We'll compromise. I believe that our differences actually make us better together and for our hypothetical unborn children. I like the idea of attending both a Catholic church and a Unitarian Universalist church. I've been doing it myself this past month, and Sunday has become my favorite day. I always find a meaningful message in the Catholic service I attend (even if it is something snarky, like 'the priest isn't too bright') with Eugenio on Sunday evenings, even if the Catholic beliefs and sometimes the Priest's homilies don't resonate with me. Also, I just enjoy being with Eugenio, and I love singing the songs, probably more than I should.
Speaking of singing, when I was little I loved the "lasagna" song in church. You don't remember a song about lasagna? For the longest time I thought when the church choir sang "hosanna" they were saying "oh lasagna." It was my favorite mass song. At any rate, lasagna/hosanna aside, I'm sure our unborn children are gonna love having to go to church twice! Jesus christ.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
My first wedding
Last night I had a nightmare that set me straight. Forget my carelessness regarding wedding planning. The media and bridezillas everywhere might have the attention to seemingly unimportant details attitude right. In my dream, our wedding is horrendous.
I wear a black dress, which is actually cute and flattering, but serves as a harbinger for the affair to come. Our reception (I don't recall an actually ceremony) is at a mall in a Macy's or maybe a Dillard's clothing area, which is partially cleared for the occasion. I can see shoppers browsing as I dance on the carpet floor. It isn't all bad, though, I remember the dancing is a blast -- everyone gets down. Thanks be to music. However, our first song, since we forgot to provide a list, is the "I'm too sexy for my shirt" song. Eugenio goes along and we make it work, as if we picked it ourselves, but most likely Seth, my brother and apparently our DJ, chose it.
While dancing I scan the audience -- we don't have food or drinks for our guests, only chairs set in rows -- and notice the emptiness. None of my friends are here! Later I cry, call Katy, and say "My wedding was today and you weren't there." She cries too and adds, "I'm so sorry I didn't know. You didn't tell me." Later Eugenio finds red, soggy invitations that were never sent sitting in my Dad's mailbox. We also forgot to reserve a pool and rooms at the mall (no idea where this part comes from; anything is possible in dreams), so the party is over. The family heads to my dad's house for a double chocolate Costco cake (which is awesome, and I would even consider in waking life), and later we all go to the movies (I'm still wearing my dress trying to savor the day, while everyone else wears tshirts) -- but not everyone and not all together. Eugenio and I, and a few of Eugenio's work friends go to one theatre, and we get lost on our way. It's as if we aren't familiar with San Antonio and no one has GPS. Mara, Paul, Joe, and others go to another movie theatre. Perhaps they foresaw the chaos, or maybe they had enough.
Eugenio is so sad about how the day unfolded; he suggests, and I agree, that we have a do-over.
Thankfully, I awake, sweating, and figure my dream is meant as a warning. Katy, maid-of-honor, please note my wedding is hopefully Feb 12 -- in case I forget to send invitations. ; )
(Before this particular nightmare, I had a much milder dream in which I accidentally killed someone. Oopsie.)
Your bridezilla-ish-to-be,
Hanna
I wear a black dress, which is actually cute and flattering, but serves as a harbinger for the affair to come. Our reception (I don't recall an actually ceremony) is at a mall in a Macy's or maybe a Dillard's clothing area, which is partially cleared for the occasion. I can see shoppers browsing as I dance on the carpet floor. It isn't all bad, though, I remember the dancing is a blast -- everyone gets down. Thanks be to music. However, our first song, since we forgot to provide a list, is the "I'm too sexy for my shirt" song. Eugenio goes along and we make it work, as if we picked it ourselves, but most likely Seth, my brother and apparently our DJ, chose it.
While dancing I scan the audience -- we don't have food or drinks for our guests, only chairs set in rows -- and notice the emptiness. None of my friends are here! Later I cry, call Katy, and say "My wedding was today and you weren't there." She cries too and adds, "I'm so sorry I didn't know. You didn't tell me." Later Eugenio finds red, soggy invitations that were never sent sitting in my Dad's mailbox. We also forgot to reserve a pool and rooms at the mall (no idea where this part comes from; anything is possible in dreams), so the party is over. The family heads to my dad's house for a double chocolate Costco cake (which is awesome, and I would even consider in waking life), and later we all go to the movies (I'm still wearing my dress trying to savor the day, while everyone else wears tshirts) -- but not everyone and not all together. Eugenio and I, and a few of Eugenio's work friends go to one theatre, and we get lost on our way. It's as if we aren't familiar with San Antonio and no one has GPS. Mara, Paul, Joe, and others go to another movie theatre. Perhaps they foresaw the chaos, or maybe they had enough.
Eugenio is so sad about how the day unfolded; he suggests, and I agree, that we have a do-over.
Thankfully, I awake, sweating, and figure my dream is meant as a warning. Katy, maid-of-honor, please note my wedding is hopefully Feb 12 -- in case I forget to send invitations. ; )
(Before this particular nightmare, I had a much milder dream in which I accidentally killed someone. Oopsie.)
Your bridezilla-ish-to-be,
Hanna
Friday, August 20, 2010
Circ de Wedding
I think the entire wedding industry is somewhat embarrassing, as it shows how easily we are manipulated by myths and media. At any rate, I can't wait for my "one big day!" That's so anticlimactic. I'll spend a fortune on gaudy stuff I never would have purchased under 'normal circumstances' so that the industry gods and everyone I know can see the moment I'm the skinniest I'll ever be, wearing the biggest dress I'll ever wear? Doesn't make sense. I bought a reasonably over-priced wedding dress; now I can keep saving for my funeral and death attire, which will be much more permanent and functional...and fun! Open bar, hello.
In all seriousness, I am looking forward to marrying Eugenio. I would do it today in a much easier, intimate trip to the court house if I could. That said, again, I am looking forward to marrying Eugenio circus and all. I can appreciate a crazy party. People act as if wedding planning is a difficult, laborious ordeal. I suppose if you think you're Martha Stewart and your friends and family are Royalty, it must be so. My wedding planning won't be as cumbersome. My plan is to avoid magazines and TV shows that tell me I must have this and that and that and that and that and that....oh and this.
At any rate, I shouldn't get ahead of myself. We aren't sure if we are getting married by the church. We are at the mercy of a priest we haven't met. We want our wedding in San Antonio on February 12 (consider this your save-the-date) in a particular beautiful Catholic church (will remain TBA for now). Last week we flew to San Antonio to meet with said priest at our scheduled meeting time. A few hours before our flight left Orlando, Eugenio called the church to confirm our meeting time. And of course this was the response:
"I'm so glad you called! We've been trying to get in touch with you but don't have your number. The priest unexpectedly needs to go out of town. Is there anyway we can reschedule for another time?" said the admin.
Um, do you reimburse for travel? Thus, we thankfully met with a deacon instead. He was very personable and kind, but unable to answer the $500 (plane ticket) "Can we get married here?" question. Since we will complete our wedding counseling/hazing/preparations at our church in Orlando, the San Antonio priest must approve and, most importantly, decide whether we deserve his blessing. Although I'm not Catholic and Eugenio very much is, I am optimistic about the priest's decision. For the sake of helping people understand the millions of thoughts in my head about the particular nature of the universe via a label, I say I am either agnostic or, more simply, believe in kindness (when speaking informally) or Unitarian Universalist (when speaking to people who decide if I can get married in their church). Eugenio advised that I "be vague" when answering the priest's question. But really, I attend a Unitarian church in Orlando that I adore, as well as a Catholic mass every Sunday with Eugenio, and I believe and practice genuine kindness because it helps mask the fact that we're all assholes.
If the priest decides I'm an unworthy heathen, we have a plan B: get married in the court, and then use the money for an extra large coffin to fit me and my wedding dress when I die. OK, I made up the second part. Apparently we can get married in the church after a year of being married by the state -- that's plan B. I'll keep you posted. You'll either get a wedding invite or see me resting in my wedding dress maaaany years from now.
In all seriousness, I am looking forward to marrying Eugenio. I would do it today in a much easier, intimate trip to the court house if I could. That said, again, I am looking forward to marrying Eugenio circus and all. I can appreciate a crazy party. People act as if wedding planning is a difficult, laborious ordeal. I suppose if you think you're Martha Stewart and your friends and family are Royalty, it must be so. My wedding planning won't be as cumbersome. My plan is to avoid magazines and TV shows that tell me I must have this and that and that and that and that and that....oh and this.
At any rate, I shouldn't get ahead of myself. We aren't sure if we are getting married by the church. We are at the mercy of a priest we haven't met. We want our wedding in San Antonio on February 12 (consider this your save-the-date) in a particular beautiful Catholic church (will remain TBA for now). Last week we flew to San Antonio to meet with said priest at our scheduled meeting time. A few hours before our flight left Orlando, Eugenio called the church to confirm our meeting time. And of course this was the response:
"I'm so glad you called! We've been trying to get in touch with you but don't have your number. The priest unexpectedly needs to go out of town. Is there anyway we can reschedule for another time?" said the admin.
Um, do you reimburse for travel? Thus, we thankfully met with a deacon instead. He was very personable and kind, but unable to answer the $500 (plane ticket) "Can we get married here?" question. Since we will complete our wedding counseling/hazing/preparations at our church in Orlando, the San Antonio priest must approve and, most importantly, decide whether we deserve his blessing. Although I'm not Catholic and Eugenio very much is, I am optimistic about the priest's decision. For the sake of helping people understand the millions of thoughts in my head about the particular nature of the universe via a label, I say I am either agnostic or, more simply, believe in kindness (when speaking informally) or Unitarian Universalist (when speaking to people who decide if I can get married in their church). Eugenio advised that I "be vague" when answering the priest's question. But really, I attend a Unitarian church in Orlando that I adore, as well as a Catholic mass every Sunday with Eugenio, and I believe and practice genuine kindness because it helps mask the fact that we're all assholes.
If the priest decides I'm an unworthy heathen, we have a plan B: get married in the court, and then use the money for an extra large coffin to fit me and my wedding dress when I die. OK, I made up the second part. Apparently we can get married in the church after a year of being married by the state -- that's plan B. I'll keep you posted. You'll either get a wedding invite or see me resting in my wedding dress maaaany years from now.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Learning from mistakes
As they say, you learn something new everyday. Everyday I learn a bit more Spanish thanks to my fiance who bought me the Rosetta Stone. The entire month of July I'm sure Eugenio wondered what the hell he was thinking by moving in with me, considering the depression I exuded everyday mostly over not having a job. I didn't just feel it -- I sulked,whined, and wondered allowed "what is wrong with me ?!" So embarrassing. I still don't have a job -- or know what's wrong with me -- but I've learned to enjoy the unemployed life of sleeping in, reading novels, "writing my novel", and learning espanol. When Eugenio comes home from work I speak to him in Spanish, so he can marvel at and correct me. I try to come up with cute things to say with what I've learned like, "Tu pedos huelan muy mal." Your farts smell very bad...I think. I realized sometimes I would say things incorrectly and he wouldn't correct me, but rather practically pat me on the head and say "muy bien!" I always ask "was that right?" or "does that make sense?" I will only learn if he points out my mistakes.
Perhaps the biggest mistake I've made was moving to Orlando with mi amor in the first place, when I didn't yet have a job. I left two enjoyable-in-many-aspects jobs in Austin for a sweaty city, where the people are not as nice, the weather sucks and so do the job opportunities. Nonetheless, I've learned that lesson but it's a moot point. I wouldn't have it any other way. Living with Eugenio is the best, despite the weather and my job situation. I should have known in our first awkward phone conversation when he told me about a patients black poop that we are perfect for one another. He loves talking about bodily functions more than I do!
At the moment I am home alone, as Eugenio is driving to the restaurant we ate at yesterday after his board exam to pick up the credit card he left. I've never known him to forget anything -- except something "I just said!" -- so I hope my carelessness isn't wearing off on him. I'm known to loose keys, phones, and to forget my expensive engagement ring in hotels that are miles and miles away. At any rate, that's what he's doing, and I am here alone per usual. I say that, but I am not lonely these days, although I do find myself waiting for him-to-come-home all the time. It doesn't bother me, again, now that I've learned to enjoy this unemployment while it lasts (hopefully not too long).
Though not lonely, I have a lot of important sometimes philosophical things to say at any given moment with no one to express them to. It's a shame. Like today, I decided to add boxed wine (specifically Chardonnay) to the list of 'products not to buy just because they are so cheap,' right next to generic tampons, which, if you haven't the pleasure of saving a few pennies on, these feel simply like a piece of bark up your... I haven't tried the latter, but using generic tampons is what I imagine it feels like.
I will only learn if I acknowledge my mistakes, lest I go to the grocery store and buy cheap boxed wine and tampons again just because I'm sad and thirsty and "Aunt Flo" is coming.
Perhaps the biggest mistake I've made was moving to Orlando with mi amor in the first place, when I didn't yet have a job. I left two enjoyable-in-many-aspects jobs in Austin for a sweaty city, where the people are not as nice, the weather sucks and so do the job opportunities. Nonetheless, I've learned that lesson but it's a moot point. I wouldn't have it any other way. Living with Eugenio is the best, despite the weather and my job situation. I should have known in our first awkward phone conversation when he told me about a patients black poop that we are perfect for one another. He loves talking about bodily functions more than I do!
At the moment I am home alone, as Eugenio is driving to the restaurant we ate at yesterday after his board exam to pick up the credit card he left. I've never known him to forget anything -- except something "I just said!" -- so I hope my carelessness isn't wearing off on him. I'm known to loose keys, phones, and to forget my expensive engagement ring in hotels that are miles and miles away. At any rate, that's what he's doing, and I am here alone per usual. I say that, but I am not lonely these days, although I do find myself waiting for him-to-come-home all the time. It doesn't bother me, again, now that I've learned to enjoy this unemployment while it lasts (hopefully not too long).
Though not lonely, I have a lot of important sometimes philosophical things to say at any given moment with no one to express them to. It's a shame. Like today, I decided to add boxed wine (specifically Chardonnay) to the list of 'products not to buy just because they are so cheap,' right next to generic tampons, which, if you haven't the pleasure of saving a few pennies on, these feel simply like a piece of bark up your... I haven't tried the latter, but using generic tampons is what I imagine it feels like.
I will only learn if I acknowledge my mistakes, lest I go to the grocery store and buy cheap boxed wine and tampons again just because I'm sad and thirsty and "Aunt Flo" is coming.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)