Adsense

Before I get to the real story, let me explain something...

Each time I publish a new post, Blogger informs me that I can make money by configuring Adsense in my blog, basically enabling random ads that may relate to my blogs contents to appear on my page. I suspect the generated ads will miss the mark. I mentioned the Justin Bieber song that goes "baby, baby, baby, oh baby" in one post, and Blogger told me, as it does each time I post, Make money by configuring Google Adsense. To give me an example of what I was missing, Blogger displayed an ad for Justin Bieber Live tickets. I hold my friends and family in high esteem, and thus assume that none would click on any impersonal, equation generated ads annoyingly situated in the sidebar. I also like to think your attention is on my post and not advertisements. Besides, I'd rather endorse products that have personally touched my life in a special way. I want the control to keep it real. Apparently, Blogger tells me, I can do that too! I can casually mention the products I'm using, as I pepper posts with details about my day, and simultaneously include links so that my fans can buy the same bags, booze and pregnancy tests (No worries buying these online, I get them at the dollar store, right by the check out lane) as yours truly. Since money is tight right now, hey, why not.

So every now and then you may see blue ink in my blog. Help a sister out and clicky click away. But please, I hope this doesn't distract from the writing at hand. I vow to not get greedy and rampantly mention products I don't actually use simply to make a buck. Anyhoo...

Yesterday I got my period all over our cream colored couch. I'm not proud of this, but I'm trying to find meaning in my life these days, and I'm beginning to believe that my gift of a purpose in life is to make you feel better about yourself.

I was enjoying the breeze in my towel-dress for a few hours, before putting on my stifling, albeit sexy, granny panties and jammies. I watched a soccer game with Eugenio (this is how I test my Spanish; I know more Spanish than soccer), and then we watched The Office online, since we happened to miss the premier on...whenever it came on. I don't know when, that's why we missed it. Anyhoo, before bed I noticed a big stain on the couch and was mortified to realize I forgot to wear a diaper. Oh eff! I even saw a line of red followed by another, smaller, red splotch displaying how I scooched on over from one side of the couch to the other to check my email at the computer. Eugenio quipped that we could just flip over the cushion, and if anyone were to see the stain, just say it's salsa. While I appreciate his creativity, I personally didn't want to sit on that couch anymore, let alone deceive any guests. Luckily for you, if you ever come over and I urge you to have a seat, you don't have to worry about any questionable stains, thanks to Woolite OXY DEEP. After church, I took my bloated and stinky (I was out of cucumber deodorant too) self on over to the store to inquire about cleaners for period stains. After the employee rudely pointed me in the right direction with a snooty grimace (these people in Orlando, I swear!), I found the cleaner, which promised to permanently remove tough stains, and went straight home to spray and scrub. It worked like a charm. I think this scenario would make a great commercial for Woolite OXY DEEP, which I can vouch for the label, is indeed "great for upholstery!" This blog is the only proof that anything ever happened. The only bummer against Woolite Oxy Deep is the smell. With an aroma reminiscent of Nix lice treatment, it made my head itch like I was in kindergarten again.