Only apply if you can show up on time.

With no exaggeration, I have applied to hundreds of jobs since moving to Orlando. My logic told me that if I apply to ten to twenty jobs each week, eventually I will get a job. I'd like to think I'm a catch for any company, but so far -- in this poor economy, I'll tell myself -- I'm not. I don't even have delusions that I can land a decent paying job that will allow me to pay back my student loans.

How fucked up is this: I took out student loans so that I could go to college, so that I could get a job one day, so that I could pay back my student loans one day, but now that's not even my goal. Now I want a job, so that I can continue making low payments on my ever increasing student debt... for the rest of my goddamned life. Fuck me! Now I consider any low paying job that simply requires a pulse, as lucrative. Unfortunately, I'm both overqualified and unqualified for most hourly part-time jobs. Part-time, because it seems there's no such thing as a full-time job with benefits anymore. Overqualified, because I have a degree and work experience that paid semi-decent; and unqualified, because I've never folded clothes or swept the floor for a formal exchange of taxed money. I don't even qualify to be a maid. I'm not as bitter as I seem, though, because I know there are people who have this sort of work experience who also need work so that they can feed their families.

I'm so willing and able to work, that every ad makes me think I'm reading a description for my dream job. Why, yes, I HAVE always wanted to work as a full-time (?!) Dry Cleaning Presser! And yes, I CAN show up to work on time (one of the three job requirements)! I get all excited and sweaty as a shoot an eager-beaver email to my hopefully new employer.

Today, I did in fact apply to work at that Dry Cleaners. I was giddy about that one. Full-time, hello! And then I almost died (excuse me, I've been watching Rachel Zoe), when I saw an ad for a part time flower shop assistant. I am not even kidding you when I say that I actually HAVE always wanted to work in a florist shop. Really, I'm not just saying that with the same sweaty excitement I got when I falsely assumed working as a dry cleaning presser is my dream job. What's more, the Flower Shop, unlike the Dry Cleaners or the Grocery Store or any Retail Shop in the mall, doesn't necessarily require experience. They'll train inept souls like me who stupidly went to college. Heck yes! I applied for the flower shop assistant job, and for once I think my excitement is genuinely directed towards the work and not the idea that I'll have a job.

So, I have a favor. If you pray to God, Allah, the Light, Madonna, Kaballah, or whoever, please pray that I get this job (and tell him/her/it that I'm sorry for swearing so much), or simply send good vibes my way. I'm not sure if that truly works, I'm fairly certain that doesn't work, or think that I am so important and disadvantaged that prayers should be spent on me, but it can't hurt. I need a job!I want to come home for Christmas! BUT if it doesn't work out, I can blame it on The Plan!

I'll keep you posted.

Gracias!
Hanna