I was lurking in the Kitten Center forums the other day when I read another frantic,"I-Can't-Lose-the-Kittens- Weight" post.
This cat had her litter two weeks ago and she was all, "I've tried everything-- eating the Fancy Feast, not eating the Fancy Feast. Eating only local, organic mice, not eating anything at all. Chasing my tail for hours on end. Throwing shit off the table. No matter what I do, the weight won't budge. I think it's hormonal. Has anyone else had trouble losing the kittens weight while exclusively teatfeeding? I'm so frustrated! SO has been itching to DTD, but I just don't feel good about my body right now."
I repeat, this cat had her LITTER of kittens TWO WEEKS ago. And she's not the only one! If I hear the term, "post-kittens body" one more time, I swear I'm going to claw my human's eyes out. It's their fault, after all. It's bad enough that we have to deal with the way they portray us in the media, and here we are blindly inheriting their stupid neuroses. We're cats. We're supposed to be better than mind numbing obsessions over diets and bodies. Let the humans keep their miserable existences while we live more meaningful, albeit shorter, lives.
Now I know what you're thinking, "Great, one more cat with an opinion and the Internet." I agree. Who am I to tell you how to live your post kitten life? Starve yourself down a few ounces for all I care. No one else will notice, by the way. They're busy simultaneously criticizing and admiring their own reflections while taking selfies in the bathroom mirror. I'm not immune to the idiocy myself. Let's be real, I downloaded the calorie tracker app on my cPhone a few weeks after my little ones were born. I went down that road, but then I turned my tail around and realized it wasn't worth my time or energy. I have kittens to care for and enjoy before the humans come and break us apart. What's more, I don't want any bad obsessions to influence my babies' minds. The little ones are so impressionable, you know. Just the other day I overheard the kitten sisters next door talk about how hard it was to avoid carbs when the humans insist on feeding them nothing but dry, processed food. Kittens! Talking about carbs! I didn't even know what a carb was until...wait, what's a carb?
My point-- it's true, I'm just another cat behind a keyboard, but I'm not going to engage in any conversations about losing the kittens weight anymore and I urge you to do the same. Our bodies are amazing, aren't they? We birthed these living breathing (ah! Kitten breath is the best!) teeny tiny cats. We nourish them with our teats. We put up with a lot of humanshit on a daily basis and we have more responsibility now. Why waste valuable cat life time worrying about the infinitesimal amount of space our fur consumes.
And don't even get me started about how this is such a privileged cat issue.
My apologies if this seems preachy. Let us go in peace to love and serve the humans (haha!) and each other.
