I helped a woman select a purse at J. C. Penney. After demonstrating how to move the straps to make a bag cross over the body, I realized she thought I was an employee. Thinking how embarrassing it would be for the both of us if she knew I wasn't, I just committed and kept going. Is this a gift? Pointed her away from the ugly purse to the less ugly one. Employee of the month right here.

"You know what would make this story better? If it were in my mouth." 

-- Felicity every time I read to her

What a prick

When we speak of plans for future events -- eating dinner, going to the mall in two hours, waking up in the morning -- my mother-in-law always follows with, "Si Dios quiere," which literally translates to "if God wants," and more practically to "God willing." It's so morbid that, while I normally flinch at god talk, me gusta.





Saying good night, I'm reminded that, well, we just might not see each other in the morning, afterall. One of us may die. Si Dios quiere.

g-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s

Felicity likes pulling herself to a standing position using my shirt. I sit her on my lap facing me, and she pulls herself up. When she's feeling curious, once standing, she pulls my shirt open and sticks her head in, not so subtlety sneaking a peak at my chest. She kept doing it this morning. I laughed and laughed, then she lifted herself up one last time, opened my shirt, stuck in her head...and threw up. A lot. Merry Christmas!

You know you've spent too much time on Internet baby forums when you're reading and think indignantly, "This book should have come with a trigger warning."

I think Felicity is sneaking out in the middle of the night to eat at a buffet somewhere. I'm contantly amazed by how much poop comes out of her little body. 

Happy holidays.