I'mma -- that's not a word, just type out I'm going to, damnit! -- take a hot minute -- Wait, why is the minute hot?-- to discuss a few trite phrases that we should consider removing or replacing from our Internet vernacular. I may or may not have uttered/typed the very phrases I'm about to malign.

Now that we've moved on and people without celiac disease are consuming gluten again (I think? I hope!), everyone keeps saying how they're eating "clean," which makes me want to talk about how dirty I've been eating.

When someone likes an article, to show appreciation and demonstrate ardent agreement, she profoundly declares, "This" in the comment section.  Let's change it up and start saying, "That."

I haven't heard this one recently, but when I do see it, I must walk away from whatever I'm reading, as my reaction is so visceral, I can't stomach any more. It's the worst  -- no, it's not worth such hyperbole --  but I dislike it immensely when amazeballs -- I had a hard time even typing that -- is used in a text I am otherwise enjoying. It's ketchup on a steak eaten with fingers. Cringe worthy. You guys -- hey, let's stop pretending we're all buddy-buddy -- I don't even have a replacement for amazeballs. Just never ever say it.

Ugh, such annoying hackneyed Internet phrases. Amirite?! No. You are wrong. That is not a word.