Every day this blog gets traffic from people searching for "calories in a coronarita." I imagine a lot of disappointment upon finding this drunk girl embarrassingly rambling, without mentioning an actual calorie count, after I imbibed a semi-homemade knock-off concoction. I need to delete that post. I need to delete this entire blog. But I feel like I can provide a service, give people what they're looking for.

So here you have it. I like to imagine you waking up in a strangers bed with hazy details about last night,  panicked, grabbing for your phone, as if knowing your caloric intake will put you back in control of your life. You find weight watchers doesn't have the stats for dosaritas and coronaritas yet and neither does your calorie tracker app. Relax. I'll tell you:

LOL!You added a beer to a corn syrupy, sugary, salty alcoholic beverage the size of your face. It's about too fucking many calories to even be concerned about anymore. It was so good though, right?! I had a bucket sized dosarita (the real deal, finally) in Houston a few months ago. It was satisfying and headachy and bloating enough to never want to even taste one again, like washing down an entire chocolate cake with tacos. In fact, there's bile in my mouth right now just thinking about it (sorry).

If you want to get drunk on a diet, just stick with the tequila and don't eat anything ever. OK? Just kidding. Anyway, a beer has about 150 calories, a big ass margarita like the one you probably drank has about 550 calories. For the mathematically challenged, that's 700 calories or over two times the daily allowance for anorectics. But let's be real, you probably drank more than that. The better question is, what did you do afterwards? Also, unsolicited food for thought: we're all going to die.