I got the nicest and only blog comment I've ever received from Anonymous after nearly 10 years of blogging. I know. Just what I needed -- more attention!

I've been blogging since 2003 and I always get to a point where I realize I've littered enough questionable and embarrassing sentences over the internet that I delete the whole damn site. I swear off blogging. But the little blogger inside can't quit and I always, ALWAYS start up again, like a hot minute later, not even enough time for the two people who read my blog to ask what happened -- though I want so badly for them to ask, to want me back.  Once I start blogging about blogging (like now) and imagining how much people who read my blog must hate me -- because I start to read old posts and I hate me -- I begin making plans and drafting notes to end my blogger life. Wedding posts: UGH. Talking about bodily functions all blase like it's funny and as if bloggers from all over don't try the same thing: UGH. Animals and Florida: UGH (though watching a man with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth straddling a gator is probably one of my favorite my only pleasant Florida memory). Being a whiny little bitch: UGH. This post: UGH.

Recently I was getting to the zenith of self blogger loathing. I was recognizing that I blog and read blogs, if not as a  means to imaginary friendships, at least to the end of the possibility of real ones. I've lived in Orlando for two years and haven't made a single friend outside of work. As cheesy as it sounds, I read a book by a woman who went on a year long quest to make a new BFF after moving to a new city and it inspired me. Maybe I wouldn't hate it here and maybe I wouldn't blog so much about my period if I had friends. I need to be proactive about meeting ladies. I can't expect for them to fall into my crumb filled lap while I write in my blog about writing in my blog about unfortunate white couches. So a few weeks ago I resolved to search for book clubs and running groups tomorrow, and then come tomorrow I pushed for tomorrow or the next day or the day after that or whenever I can spare a few moments from my pretty booked-with-nothingness (i.e. the Internet) days off.

But never mind about quitting blogging. That one bone thrown my way from a generous anonymous commenter has legitimized my attention seeking behavior. I won't quit. I have one person who liked one post after 10 years.

But actually I debated for awhile, and I'm still not 100%, whether it was really a friend or family member mocking me. Like she'd write me a nice fake comment just to take pleasure in my clueless response and subsequent longest post ever...Yeah, I'm still not sure. It could go either way. My new, permanent post tag is I'll delete this later and eventually I probably will.