Neno is a lucky man

I walk through the front door, delirious from a long day working in front of glowing computer screens. I'm greeted with a kiss by my husband, decked out in his jammies, sitting at the kitchen table reading medical study guides -- which is surprising, because usually he's playing call of duty when I get home. I'm giddy and hyper, because that's what happens when I see my husband when I'm tired. I go to the bedroom to change and notice the bed is made. "Calabaza! You made the bed! Thank you! I love my Calabaza!" I shout in the childlike voice I save for my closest friends.

I wasn't looking forward to straightening up my morning tornado of reject clothes or making the bed. (I have to make the bed before getting into it to sleep again). To show gratitude, I bend over, lift my skirt, and moon Neno, displaying my pink, zebra print underwear. "Calabaza look!"

Unfazed, he briefly looks up from his book offers a pity chuckle and says, "I like that underwear."

Pointing to my hanes-her-way on the table (isn't that where you keep your underwear?), he suggests "You should only wear those for working out. Lately you've been wearing them every day. The underwear you're wearing now are better."

The underwear I'm wearing now are the cotton victoria secret variety. It's tighter, but still comfortable, than my beloved hanes briefs (hanes should pay me, or do I wear fruit-of-the-loom? I don't know, something like that, you know what I mean). I recently went to Walmart to stock up on my XXL granny panties and bought new briefs while I was at it. When I pack to go on a trip, my underwear takes up most of the space. I have different underwear for sleeping, running, and daily life.

"What, you don't like the hanes? You think I look bad in them?" I ask laughing, plotting to wear them every day.

"Yes, those are flaggy." He means saggy, but isn't that the cutest thing -- flaggy. "I prefer the Victoria Secret underwear you bought. It's tighter."

Did I mention I'm tired? So this conversation is so funny to me. I laugh throwing my head back. "But the granny panties always turn you on, right?"

He mumbles something like, "yeah only for sleeping."

I'm humored and perplexed, I always thought he was as much a fan as I of the belly high, 'flaggy' look. Does anyone have a picture of me in my granny panties to post? If not, I'll snap a new one when I get home. It's about time the internet sees me in all my glory.