The first trimester exhaustion is back. Everyone says this cliche, even I did, "It feels like I've been hit by a truck." Or sometimes I think we say train. Either way, I'm sure being hit by a large, fast moving vehicle would be much worse; we'd all be dead. But that's all to say that, I'm feeling rull tired again. Lethargic. Everything is too much. Like this morning after getting dressed I noticed a penny-sized hole on the right leg of my stockings,no  pantyhose,no tights. Even the thought of changing into another outfit made me want to lie down for a minute, so here I sit, writing because reading my work email seemed too tiresome, with a hole in my tights. Also, my hair is wet. I have 15 minutes before I have to start talking to other people through faux enthusiasm.

An odd thing about feeling exhausted by this pregnancy, is I still manage to run jog/waddle every morning. I have the energy to do that, but then everything else feels like stumbling forward through heavy wind. I went to the mall with Eugenio yesterday. Normally the mall is an exercise in maintaining sanity, even more so when I'm sweating with bloated feet and I'd rather be anywhere else curled up in a ball. I made the mistake of telling Eugenio that I was going to the restroom once again and that I'd meet up with him when I'm done. He was looking for shorts in Macy's. I couldn't find him as easily as I imagined and became irrationally panicked, calling him 4 times in a 15 minute period and sending 3 text messages. "Donde estas?" I beamed; Spanish is always more chipper. Then, "Where are you?" Ending with, "I'm getting tired looking for you, I'm going back downstairs to sit on the couch by the women's dressing room."  I knew better than to leave a voice mail message. When I become impatient I loose my ability to speak. I once left him a whiny message, which I've heard replayed about 50 times, that went something like, "Where are you?! You have my thing! I need the thing to open the thing! Ugh!" I was so flustered I couldn't think of the word "card" and "gate." Whenever we are in the middle of an argument, Eugenio will pull out his phone and replay that message over and over again. I never like hearing my recorded voice, much less my whiny, flustered, idiot recorded voice. Where was I going with this? Yes, I was at the mall, which was exhausting and now I am at work which is also stupidly daunting...

I'm not so much complaining of lethargy as taking note. I'm trying to savor these last couple of months, as I'm told this is the calm before the storm. You think you're exhausted now, just you wait, sister....