Felicity drank from the bottle! Hallelujah! After a very long, patient process of elimination, scouring the globe for every bottle and nipple combination in all the land, we met our match. Everyone said 

we were just going to have to suck it up and do a battle of the wills, that it wasn't about the bottle. I was weak and couldn't handle letting her cry while I withheld my overflowing bosom, but lo and behold, my instincts were right. However, note to future self and word to the wise, because what the Internet needs is more advice on how to raise your baby, amiright: don't wait too long to introduce your babe to a bottle if it's necessary or important to you.

Now, let us all bow our heads and pray that it wasn't a one time deal. 

And look at this cutie: