I was just at the grocery store where I noticed Crystal Light is selling appletini, margarita, and mojito flavored drink mixes....for detoxing alcoholics on a diet? For the kiddos? I dunno about this. Anybody I've ever known to imbibe a cocktail or five doesn't do it merely for the flavor. She drinks it for the possibility of altering her mind with hard liquor but having sugar and juices to cover that shit up. Come to think of it, if the tacit, unadvertised purpose, what the marketing people jumping on this skinny drink bandwagon know people will do anyway, is to add the alcohol, then...OH, OKAY! Start making the individual packets for water bottles too. Fuck it, but the liqour in those individual packets. I'll take them to work.

I didn't get paid to write this. Damnit.